Frank Zappa on churches and religion

Zappa photo

  • My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can.
  • Tax the FUCK out of the churches!
  • Get smart and I’ll fuck you over — sayeth The Lord.
  • The essence of Christianity is told to us in the Garden of Eden history. The fruit that was forbidden was on the Tree of Knowledge. The subtext is, All the suffering you have is because you wanted to find out what was going on. You could be in the Garden of Eden if you had just kept your fucking mouth shut and hadn’t asked any questions.
  • Those Jesus Freaks
    Well, they’re friendly but
    The shit they believe
    Has got their minds all shut
    An’ they don’t even care
    When the church takes a cut
    Ain’t it bleak when you got so much nothin’

About probabilityZero

I'm a rather boring, geeky college student. Most of my time is spent at a computer, reading a book, or sitting in (mostly uninteresting) classes. My hobbies include reading, blogging, creating and running websites, creating amateur video games, arguing incessantly on discussion forums, and buying books on because I'm too lazy to go to the library.
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16 Responses to Frank Zappa on churches and religion

  1. muffin says:

    Hell yes!

  2. rob says:

    eh ive never liked his music that much… too much of a hippie for my tastes

  3. Anonymous says:

    a wise man

  4. Hmm… I used to like Zappa, but not anymore. BTW I am Christian. And I would like to tell you what I think about the kind of Christianity that is in existence today, as it relates to what Zappa said, and let you know not all of our minds are shut.

    1. I regret what the religious right is doing in the name of religion. It is embarrassing at times to be a Christian with the hate spewing out of the mouths of these right wing apostate Christians. People tend to think these so-called Christians are representative of Christianity as a whole. Christ sat and ate with drunks and prostitutes, and sinners of all types. Christ preached love and tolerance, not hatred and war. So as Zappa said, (these so-called Christians), their minds are all shut. Shut to love, shut to tolerance, and shut to live and let live.

    2. I don’t believe in organized religion,either. I think organized religion and churches today are all about the money. It makes me sick to see these television preachers stuff their wallets and buy another Rolex watch for 5 grand, a fistful of diamonds and gold, a closet full of Armani suits, a mansion and Cadillac. That isn’t what Christianity is supposed to be about. Anyone who gives all their money to a church today is definitely not following Christ because churches today are all apostate and evil, cause with them it’s all about the money, honey. But it is supposed to be about love for your fellowman, taking care of those in need, not filling your coffers with all the coin and then spending it on yourself. Zappa had a bit right when he said these so-called Christians “they don’t even care When the church takes a cut”.

    Mmm and as for the “Tree of Knowledge” and the “Garden of Eden” I wish the fruit were never eaten. It is my understanding that the fruit was the knowledge of evil. With all the evil, horror, and awful things happening in the world, isn’t that something we all would have been better off not knowing?

    I don’t know what kind of Christians you have been running into lately, but I can imagine they must have been ignorant about the things that matter (like love and tolerance, taking care of the needy, etc..), and uneducated about their so called religion, probably sinning all week and going to church on Sunday stuffing all their spare change in the coffers thinking they have forgiveness.

    So when Zappa says, “My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can,” I can thoroughly understand that wish and I have to agree with him because people who say they are Christian and preach hatred and war, not love and tolerance, and only care about stuffing their wallets aren’t even Christian. They are apostate heretics, having fallen away from the faith, and standing at odds with the beliefs of true Christianity. They are fundamentally and diametrically opposed to essential biblical principles.
    2Corinthians 11:13 For such are false apostles, deceitful workers, …

    But hey you can be educated, like me, and be a Christian like me, and still condemn Christianity as a whole today because it is evil in general anymore. It wasn’t what Christ had in mind.

  5. shutyermouth says:

    keep your bible verses away from me
    even the devil can recite scripture!!

    get the fuck out of here, crazy christ loving bitch

  6. Vanderbilt Int. says:

    The real problem is that religions just delude us from reality. Like Television and video games and porn. Who wants to walk around the world under false pretenses? I’m also tired of seeing long novellas by ‘christians’ who say things like the above. It’s just ridiculous to think that you have a rational leg to stand on. You can believe what you want but it’s time that we left the insane out of the public arena.

  7. God says:

    The existence of god is not necessary to explain anything. BTW, I’m gay.

  8. Brainwoman says:

    Staticbrain, The Tree you are talking about contained knowledge of Good and Evil, in other words, the basis for morality. Animals have no moral sense because they cannot tell the difference so they have no choice but to simply react. Nature is cruel. If humans had not developed a moral sense we would all still be cruel. Of course, some have developed in this are better than others.

    Whether someone is cruel or not depends more on their early socialisation than their religion. Religion is just used to justify their culturally and environmentally nurtured sense of morality. When you believe bad socialisation is divine then society has a big problem. Unfortunately when you believe that good socialisation is also divine then you provide fuel for the bad guys. Why don’t you just accept the well-socialised aspects of Christianity and discard the rest?

  9. Anonymous says:

    Rob, FUCK YOU

  10. Soul says:

    I am 100 % in agreement with what wrote on March 17, 2008. Jesus was a carpenter, and I suppose a perfect one, but he never built a building: he usually had a picnic. And when the disciples passed out the fish and bread, they didn’t have tip jars. I would rather sit at a bar and talk to the bartender. At least he doesn’t pass out a collection place. He just listens and makes you feel SOMEONE cares about you. Like the name of a song on one of Chuck Loeb’s CDs, love is all.

    Below is the truth. You don’t need anyone to teach you anything. The Holy Ghost will teach you everything and is all truth and no lie. The angel told me not to show people how much you know, but how much you care. If you don’t do what you say, who is going to follow you? It’s all about people and relationships, not about money or things. Anyplace with the right person is nice, but no place with the wrong one is nice.

    This writing was the truth when the church began about two thousand years ago. For those that believed, and showed their faith by their love and good deeds, there were many miracles, no fear of man or life or death, and a joyful anticipation of the world to come, world without end. If you read this, every word, believe it with all your heart, nothing doubting, do it as much as lies within you, and share it with those able to receive it, and who want to hear what you have to say, then, for you, the best is yet to come!

    These are the words of God:

    To live forever = everlasting life in the kingdom of God and Christ = with Christ in his throne as Christ is with the Father in His throne = heaven = paradise in a new and glorious body with everlasting joy, and to have the love and joy and peace and mercy and grace of God Almighty, our heavenly Father, that is in His only begotten and beloved Son, our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, while in this present world = this present time = this present body = this present life, you must be truly “born again” = truly “saved”. In other words, read all of this, believe every word with all your heart, and do it diligently:

    Repent of your sins . Apologize sincerely, in all humility, with a broken spirit and a contrite heart, to those you sinned against (even sins done in secret) and to God and Lord Jesus for sins against others, against yourself, and against all of heaven. Pray for strength so as not to do it again, and to always be pleasing to God. In other words, have a perfect heart – try your best, and say you’re sorry and really mean it when you don’t. If you don’t come to God with a clean and pure heart, He will not hear your prayers, will withhold blessings, and may even curse you with a curse.

    Believe with all your heart, and confess with your mouth, that Jesus Christ is the Son of God (He is not God. He is not both the Father and the Son. Actually, the Word of God is the Son of God. God spoke everything into existence by, through, and for His Son, but not “spoke” as man understands. His Word was put into a body and called Jesus. Jesus Christ is the living Word of God, and we should be living the word of God as is contained in the written word of God, the Holy Bible. The only English-language Holy Bible wholly inspired of God and correctly translated from the original Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek texts is the King James Version = KJV = Authorized Version. All other versions, including the New King James Version = NKJV, are from the devil, who tempted man to write them. The devil changed the English language, and continues to do so, and now claims that the KJV is outdated and hard to understand, and that other versions have their good points.), born of the virgin Mary (we were made of a man and a woman, but Jesus was begotten of God, and not made), never sinned, nor was there any deceit in his mouth (If he were of a man and a woman, then he would have the sin of the flesh, but he was not. When Jesus said, “Before Abraham, I am”, he was not saying that he was God: all he was saying was that he was from heaven. When God referred to Himself as “I AM”, He used all capital letters.), suffered, shed his pure and precious blood and died on the cross to conquer death and destroy him that had power over death (that is, the devil), and so that our sins be forgiven, we be reconciled to God, redeemed and puchased back by the precious blood of the Lamb, that after three days and three nights, God the Father raised him from the dead, that after forty days, he ascended up to heaven in a cloud to be seated at the right hand of the Father, all angels, authorities, and powers being made subject unto him, that he will return in like manner to judge the dead and the living (no man knows of that time, neither the angels which are in heaven, not even the Son, but only the Father), and deliver those that are his at his coming up to God the Father, that he must reign until he makes his enemies his footstool, and then the Son also himself will be subject to Him that put all things under him that God may be all in all.

    Be baptized exactly once, completely under the water (that is to say, exactly one immersion, and it must be water) in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost (not the “Holy Spirit”) when you are old enough to understand, old enough to know to refuse the evil and choose the good, and old enough to know that this is absolutely necessary for eternal life, for the forgiveness of past sins (but, for future sins, we have an intercessor = a mediator in Jesus), to receive the Holy Ghost (The Holy Ghost is not God. God, Lord Jesus, and the Holy Ghost are a team, three of a kind, one in Spirit, will, and holiness, but each with a separate identity and a separate life. Do not use devil words, such as “trinity” or “triune”, which are not in the KJV. “Godhead” IS in the KJV: God (Father) is the head, and Lord Jesus and the Holy Ghost the other two) and gifts of the Holy Ghost to have spiritual understanding (that is to say, understanding of the things of the Spirit of God) and to resist the devil, baptized into one Spirit as one of many members of the body of Christ, called his church, of which Christ is the head, buried and resurrected with Christ, dead to (no longer justified by) the law given to Moses, and completely justified (and, by the way, it is God who justifies, and not any man) before God by your faith in Christ and in Christ’s righteousness (there is no righteousness in a man). Now, you are “born again” = “saved”.

    Now that you are “born again” = “saved”, here is your duty in this present world = this present time = this present body = this present life:

    Fear God and Lord Jesus (but, do not fear man), and do = keep His commandments.
    His commandments were spoken by His Word = His Son, and are briefly comprehended by these two great commandments:

    Love God (Father) and Lord Jesus (Son) first, most, and always, even more than your life in the flesh, and the life of your loved ones, and love your neighbor as yourself. Treat others the way you want others to treat you, and the way you want to be treated on judgment day = the day of Jesus Christ = the day of vengeance of the Lord. Your faith is shown by your love. If you have no love, no good works, no compassion, and show no mercy, then your faith is false, and was never written in your heart.

    Some other needful things:

    Meditate on the word of God. Submit to God. Be humble. Thank your heavenly Father and your Lord, and pray to them, for everything, always. Grow in Christ. Endure to the end. Preach THIS gospel !!! Walk after the Spirit, and not after the flesh. Walk and talk with God and Lord Jesus : they are alive !! and they ARE your faith !!

    WIth love from above,


  11. says:

    Keep believing n’ keep being an ASSHOLE BETTER YET,LEARN HOW 2 READ!!!

  12. Uh-huh says:

    It sadly amuses me to hear parents – including Zappa – talk about letting kids “make their own choice” when they’re “old enough”. Old enough for what, making the acquaintance of the neighborhood pimp and drug dealer? Old enough to fully explore every religion (or non-religion) in existance? Kids, and many adults, make so many “choices” which are not based on careful thought, but on what they perceive will make them look cool and socially acceptable.

  13. Barack Obama says:

    Frank Zappa was an ignorant jackass who had no talent whatsoever.

  14. Ron Paul. says:

    The only logic explanation to what Barack Obama said is A: he clearly doesn’t know who Frank Zappa was, or B: his real name is also Frank Zappa.

  15. Dan says:

    Rob, FUCK YOU

  16. Dan Little says:

    Rob, FUCK YOU

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